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Programs for TVLANDHD on Saturday, December 14, 2019
12:00 AM
The King of Queens Connect Four (HD, TV-PG) Carrie wins four company seats to the Knicks games for a month but is undecided on who to take; Arthur tries to fix parking tickets for Deacon. Kevin James(Actor), Leah Remini(Actor), Jerry Stiller(Actor), Patton Oswalt(Actor), Gary Valentine(Actor)
12:30 AM
The King of Queens Mentalo Case (HD, TV-PG) It is Christmas time and Carrie decides she is going to outspend everyone; Deacon and Doug fight over Mentalo, a doll from their youth. Kevin James(Actor), Leah Remini(Actor), Jerry Stiller(Actor), Victor Williams(Actor), Adam Carl(Actor)
1:00 AM
Two and a Half Men Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. (HD, TV-14) Alan allows Lyndsey's boyfriend to set him up on a blind date; Walden offers his help to Nicole's software project so that she will then have time to date him. Ashton Kutcher(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Amber Tamblyn(Actor), D.B. Sweeney(Actor)
1:30 AM
Two and a Half Men Bite Me, Supreme Court (HD, TV-14) Marty proposes to Evelyn, leading Alan and Walden to throw him a bachelor party with a group of his old friends to celebrate the occasion. Ashton Kutcher(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Amber Tamblyn(Actor), Tim Conway(Actor)
2:00 AM
Everybody Loves Raymond Sister-in-Law (HD, TV-PG) Robert fights a losing battle to keep his composure after Ray tells him Amy is too much of a chatterbox, and a huge family squabble ensues. Ray Romano(Actor), Patricia Heaton(Actor), Brad Garrett(Actor), Doris Roberts(Actor), Peter Boyle(Actor)
2:30 AM
Everybody Loves Raymond Season's Greetings (HD, TV-PG) When a relative's Christmas card makes Marie jealous, she and Debra write one for their own family, but it only points out their shortcomings. Ray Romano(Actor), Patricia Heaton(Actor), Brad Garrett(Actor), Doris Roberts(Actor), Peter Boyle(Actor)
3:00 AM
The Goldbergs Flashy Little Flashdancer (HD, TV-PG) Beverly decides to take up dance, but she later gets dispirited; Adam thinks his friendship with Emmy is in danger when she begins to date a boy. Wendi McLendon-Covey(Actor), Sean Giambrone(Actor), Troy Gentile(Actor), Hayley Orrantia(Actor), George Segal(Actor)
3:30 AM
The Goldbergs The Opportunity of a Lifetime (HD, TV-PG) Barry gets the opportunity to throw the first pitch at a Philadelphia Phillies game; Erica makes an important decision as it pertains to her future in college. Wendi McLendon-Covey(Actor), Sean Giambrone(Actor), Troy Gentile(Actor), Hayley Orrantia(Actor), George Segal(Actor)
4:00 AM
Roseanne Isn't It Romantic (TV-PG) Fred gathers the courage to propose to Jackie and takes advice from Roseanne on the best way to ask the question and gathers tips from her favorite soap opera. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
4:30 AM
Roseanne Altar Egos (TV-G) Jackie and Fred's wedding is quickly approaching as Fred begins getting the jitters that Dan tells him are common to occur before the wedding happens. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
5:00 AM
Roseanne Nine is Enough (TV-G) Dan learns that he has a cyst that needs to be removed and in order to do so he must shave his arm pits, which everyone around him learns about quickly. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
5:30 AM
Roseanne Two for One (TV-G) Jackie decides to tell on Darlene after spotting her at a motel in the middle of the day and Roseanne feels like she has caught onto Darlene and David. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
6:00 AM
Roseanne Snoop Davey Dave (TV-PG) David informs Roseanne that Darlene is using drugs in hopes of stopping her from going to college and her love, and Roseanne plans to get to the bottom of it. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
6:35 AM
Roseanne Girl Talk (TV-PG) After being talked to by their loved ones about their friends' sex lives, Dan, Mark and Fred start feeling uncomfortable at what they have found out. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
7:10 AM
Roseanne Sleeper (TV-PG) David is forced to stay with D.J. after the basement becomes flooded, and his irritating habits quickly begin to annoy him as his stay lengthens. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
7:45 AM
Roseanne Follow the Son (TV-PG) David becomes jealous of the fact that Darlene has decided to move in with her new boyfriend Jimmy, leading him to make sure that it doesn't happen. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
8:20 AM
Roseanne Punch and Jimmy (TV-PG) Roseanne and Jackie visit Darlene's new boyfriend, and when they find out something upon arriving, they are left to decide what they should do. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
8:55 AM
Roseanne White Men Can't Kiss (TV-G) Roseanne has loved putting together the costume for D.J. in his upcoming school play, but she has to figure out why he quit the part when he comes home. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
9:30 AM
Roseanne Maybe Baby (TV-G) Roseanne is receiving opinions from everyone as she waits for the results from her amniocentesis, and a mistake in the test leaves the family elated. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
10:00 AM
Roseanne The Parenting Trap (TV-PG) D.J. begins having a problem at school when Dan decides to help, but when he finds out it is a puberty issue, he enlists the help of Mark to get through it. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
10:30 AM
Roseanne Rear Window (TV-PG) Roseanne and Dan learn that their elderly neighbors are also avid nudists; Mark and Darlene team up to pry David and Becky apart. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
11:00 AM
Roseanne My Name Is Bev (TV-PG) Beverly is arrested for drinking and driving and is obligated to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings; Roseanne forbids drinking while Beverly is in the house. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
11:30 AM
Roseanne Bed and Bored (TV-G) Jackie accuses Bev of being a rotten mother; Roseanne feigns illness in order to get some rest, but has to strike a deal with David when he learns the truth. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
12:00 PM
Roseanne Sisters (TV-PG) Fights fester between siblings when Jackie complains about D.J.'s annoying visits; Darlene is lured home for Roseanne's birthday. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
12:30 PM
Roseanne Lost Youth (TV-PG) Mark and David war over a vulnerable waitress at the Lunch Box; Jackie complains to Fred about their lovemaking, but Fred likes it just how it is. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
1:00 PM
Roseanne Single Married Female (TV-G) While Roseanne is away, Dan learns about a scandalous secret concerning Jackie and gets some advice on how to react from it from David. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
1:30 PM
Roseanne Husbands and Wives (TV-G) D.J. tries to help Darlene cut down on her spending; Roseanne regrets intruding on Jackie's concerns just as Fred is about to cave and return home. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
2:00 PM
Roseanne Happy Trailers (TV-G) Becky and Mark move into a trailer but refuse to take money from the Conners; Dan and Roseanne learn they need money to finance the baby's arrival. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
2:30 PM
Roseanne The Blaming of the Shrew (TV-G) When a bossy vixen starts pushing D.J. around, Dan finally decides to put his foot down; Fred and Jackie visit a therapist to save their marriage. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
3:00 PM
Two and a Half Men Warning, It's Dirty (HD, TV-14) When Jake's girlfriend goes out of town for the holidays, Charlie encourages him to hook up with an attractive girl he met at the beach, but Alan disagrees. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Holland Taylor(Actor)
3:30 PM
Two and a Half Men Help Daddy Find His Toenail (HD, TV-14) Charlie's girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with him while the two of them are in public; Jake sneaks out of the house against his father's wishes. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Marin Hinkle(Actor)
4:00 PM
Two and a Half Men The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room (HD, TV-14) Alan comes home with an ostentatiously distracting vase, causing Charlie to object to its presence in the house; Alan and Jake move in with a reluctant Evelyn. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Holland Taylor(Actor)
4:30 PM
Two and a Half Men Tight's Good (HD, TV-14) As everyone gets ready for changes and additions being made to the family, Charlie tries his hardest to resist his beautiful soon-to-be step sister. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Melanie Lynskey(Actor)
5:00 PM
Two and a Half Men Kinda Like Necrophilia (HD, TV-14) Alan gets very upset when he learns that Charlie stole his former high school girlfriend and soon sets his sights on revenge against his brother. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Marin Hinkle(Actor)
5:30 PM
Two and a Half Men Meander to Your Dander (HD, TV-14) Alan is thinking about breaking up with his girlfriend but he is unsure how to go about doing it, so Charlie lends him some advice on ending relationships. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Melanie Lynskey(Actor)
6:00 PM
Two and a Half Men A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh (HD, TV-14) After returning home from her trip to England, a concerned Rose notices that Charlie is extremely sick, so she makes it her mission to nurse him back to health. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Holland Taylor(Actor)
6:30 PM
Two and a Half Men The Soil Is Moist (HD, TV-14) Alan starts dating Cynthia, one of his ex-wife's friends, and he is surprised after she reveals an interesting secret about Judith's intimate life. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Marin Hinkle(Actor)
7:00 PM
Two and a Half Men Winky-Dink Time (HD, TV-14) After agreeing to accompany his nephew on a multi-generational double date, Charlie sets Alan up with a prostitute so he won't be left out of the romance. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Melanie Lynskey(Actor)
7:30 PM
Two and a Half Men Rough Night in Hump Junction (HD, TV-14) Alan begins to think that Charlie's philandering ways are getting completely out of control; Charlie's therapist and his ex-fiancée Mia resurface. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Melanie Lynskey(Actor)
8:00 PM
Two and a Half Men Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty (HD, TV-14) While Alan is busy planning Evelyn's wedding to her wealthy fiancé Teddy, Charlie has his sights set on Courtney, his devious future step-sister. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Holland Taylor(Actor)
8:30 PM
Two and a Half Men Fish in a Drawer (HD, TV-14) An unexplained death at Charlie and Alan's house prompts the CSI team to launch a special investigation while Charlie and Courtney grow closer. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Holland Taylor(Actor)
9:00 PM
Two and a Half Men If My Hole Could Talk (HD, TV-14) Charlie finds himself attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Alan and Jake engage in a battle over a homework assignment. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Susan Blakely(Actor), Coby Ryan McLaughlin(Actor)
9:30 PM
Two and a Half Men Waiting for the Right Snapper (HD, TV-14) Charlie must resist temptation when he meets the grown daughter of the older woman he has been dating and realizes that it isn't their first encounter. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Holland Taylor(Actor)
10:00 PM
Two and a Half Men Santa's Village of the Damned (HD, TV-14) Sandy begins cooking and cleaning obsessively, causing Charlie to warn Alan that his girlfriend is a "nester"; Sandy becomes a lunatic during Christmastime. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Holland Taylor(Actor)
10:30 PM
Two and a Half Men Taterhead Is Our Love Child (HD, TV-14) Charlie terrifyingly contemplates fatherhood when he coincidentally runs into a former lover who has a son named "Chuck" that looks and acts just like him. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Marin Hinkle(Actor)
11:00 PM
Two and a Half Men Pie Hole, Herb (HD, TV-14) Jake and Alan must temporarily move in with Judith and Herb when they are kicked out of Charlie's after he and Alan quarrel over a small loan. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Marin Hinkle(Actor)
11:30 PM
Two and a Half Men Damn You, Eggs Benedict (HD, TV-14) It's a series of firsts in the house as Charlie attempts cooking, Alan experiences dating two women at the same time and Jake takes his first taste of beer. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Bridget Flanery(Actor)
Comedy
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