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Programs for TVLAND on Monday, January 20, 2020
12:00 AM
Two and a Half Men Kissing Abraham Lincoln (TV-14) Charlie's new live-in girlfriend butts heads with Berta; Alan tries to sell the condo that he bought for he and Kandi, but she seduces him to change his mind. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Christopher T. Wood(Actor)
12:30 AM
Two and a Half Men Castrating Sheep in Montana (TV-14) Berta discovers that Alan has been secretly dating her daughter, but is unexpectedly joyous about the ordeal; Alan is already contemplating an exit-strategy. Charlie Sheen(Actor), Jon Cryer(Actor), Angus T. Jones(Actor), Conchata Ferrell(Actor), Holland Taylor(Actor)
1:00 AM
The King of Queens Queens'bro Bridge (TV-PG) Doug sets up a meeting between Arthur and his half-brother, Skitch, with high hopes that Arthur will move in with Skitch and he and Carrie will be alone again. Kevin James(Actor), Leah Remini(Actor), Jerry Stiller(Actor), Victor Williams(Actor), Shelley Berman(Actor)
1:30 AM
The King of Queens Dog Shelter (TV-PG) Carrie inadvertently finds out that Doug's parents have replaced Doug's old dog over the years without telling him, but Doug thinks he's the original. Kevin James(Actor), Leah Remini(Actor), Jerry Stiller(Actor), Patton Oswalt(Actor), Rachel Dratch(Actor)
2:00 AM
The King of Queens Taste Buds (TV-PG) Doug is getting perturbed by Carrie giving Arthur anything he wants for dinner so Doug talks Arthur into asking for his favorites, but the plan backfires. Kevin James(Actor), Leah Remini(Actor), Jerry Stiller(Actor), Patton Oswalt(Actor), Bobby DiVito (Actor)
2:30 AM
The King of Queens Bed Spread (TV-PG) Carrie and Doug find that their marriage is improved dramatically when they sleep on separate beds after Doug breaks their regular bed. Kevin James(Actor), Leah Remini(Actor), Jerry Stiller(Actor), Peggy Dunne(Actor), Lou Ferrigno(Actor)
3:00 AM
The Goldbergs As You Wish (TV-PG) Murray is dismayed when Adam joins the fencing team, but then Adam reveals what he really wants to do is re-enact a scene from "The Princess Bride." Wendi McLendon-Covey(Actor), Sean Giambrone(Actor), Troy Gentile(Actor), Hayley Orrantia(Actor), George Segal(Actor)
3:30 AM
The Goldbergs Dance Party USA (TV-PG) Adam, believing he has some of Pop's luck, takes a gamble at school, and loses his toys; Erica wishes to dance on a hit television dance show. Wendi McLendon-Covey(Actor), Sean Giambrone(Actor), Troy Gentile(Actor), Hayley Orrantia(Actor), George Segal(Actor)
4:00 AM
Roseanne The Dark Ages (TV-14) After learning that David spent the night in Darlene's room, both Dan and Roseanne are forced to consider their daughter in a new light. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
4:30 AM
Roseanne Mommy Nearest (TV-PG) Jackie and Roseanne are shocked by Bev's announcement that she will be moving to Lanford; Jackie feels embarrassed when she begins dating a younger man. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
5:00 AM
Roseanne Pretty in Black (TV-14) Darlene is mortified when Roseanne throws her a sweet sixteen party and then sends her away to friends so that the adults can enjoy the festivities. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
5:30 AM
Roseanne Looking for Loans in All the Wrong Places (TV-PG) When Roseanne and Jackie are denied the bank loan that would've helped them open a restaurant together, they decide to turn to Bev for help. Roseanne(Actor), John Goodman(Actor), Laurie Metcalf(Actor), Sara Gilbert(Actor), Michael Fishman(Actor)
6:00 AM
Paid Program (TV-G) Sponsored television programming.
6:30 AM
5 Makeup Tips 4 You Airbrushed makeup made easy!
7:00 AM
Paid Program (TV-G) Sponsored television programming.
7:30 AM
Paid Program (TV-G) Sponsored television programming.
8:00 AM
Paid Program (TV-G) Sponsored television programming.
8:30 AM
Paid Program (TV-G) Sponsored television programming.
9:00 AM
The Andy Griffith Show Those Gossipin' Men (TV-G) Aunt Bee, fed up with Andy's ridiculing of women's obsession with gossiping, pulls a prank on him to prove men are completely capable of gossiping as well. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor), Howard McNear(Actor)
9:30 AM
The Andy Griffith Show A Plaque for Mayberry (TV-G) Mayor Pike and the Mayberry citizens are shocked when they discover the last living descendant of a Revolutionary War hero is Otis Campbell. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Hal Smith(Actor), Dick Elliott(Actor)
10:00 AM
The Andy Griffith Show Opie and the Bully (TV-G) After learning that Opie is being bullied for his lunch money, Andy decides to let him fight it; Andy grows nervous while waiting for his son to return. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor), Terry Dickinson(Actor)
10:30 AM
The Andy Griffith Show Crime-Free Mayberry (TV-G) Two crooks posing as FBI agents, congratulate Andy on a crime-free record, and crack the Mayberry Bank's vault, but not without the sheriff's suspicions. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor), Howard McNear(Actor)
11:00 AM
The Andy Griffith Show The Cow Thief (TV-G) The mayor of Mayberry expresses that he has absolutely no faith in Andy and Barney's efforts to catch a cattle rustler, so he hires a State Investigator Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Jon Lormer(Actor), Malcolm Atterbury(Actor)
11:30 AM
The Andy Griffith Show Lawman Barney (TV-G) Barney's courage and confidence is shattered by produce peddlers, but with Andy's assistance he discovers the tools he needs to use his proper authority. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Howard McNear(Actor), Allan Melvin(Actor)
12:00 PM
The Andy Griffith Show The Bank Job (TV-G) Barney argues there is a lack of security at the Mayberry Bank and proves his case when a set-up nabs real, unsuspecting crooks trying to rob the bank. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Lee Krieger(Actor), Frances Osborne(Actor), Charles P. Thompson(Actor)
12:30 PM
The Andy Griffith Show The Loaded Goat (TV-G) After Mayberry becomes endangered by a goat that devoured a case of dynamite, Otis escalates the situation when he starts drinking. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Forrest Lewis(Actor), Bing Russell(Actor)
1:00 PM
The Andy Griffith Show Rafe Hollister Sings (TV-G) When Andy encourages Rafe Hollister to enter the Mayberry singing contest, the judges decide his looks can be deceiving but his voice is a definite winner. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Parley Baer(Actor), Kay Stewart(Actor)
1:30 PM
The Andy Griffith Show The Darlings Are Coming (TV-G) When the Darling family decides to come down from the mountains, their boisterous shenanigans leave Andy and Barney trying to calm the town down. Andy Griffith(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor), Denver Pyle(Actor), Olan Soule(Actor), Hoke Howell(Actor)
2:00 PM
The Andy Griffith Show The Big House (TV-G) Barney is left in charge of the Mayberry jail and two captured bank robbers, but when he tries to prove the high quality of Mayberry jail, his prisoners escape. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), George Kennedy(Actor), Lewis Charles(Actor)
2:30 PM
The Andy Griffith Show Opie, the Birdman (TV-G) Opie inadvertently kills a mother bird with his slingshot, and feeling guilty, he raises the baby birds and is faced with the challenge of setting them free. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor)
3:00 PM
The Andy Griffith Show Ernest T. Bass Joins the Army (TV-G) When Ernest T. tries to enter the Army to get a uniform so he can impress his lady friend, he is rejected and goes on a window-breaking rampage. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Allan Melvin(Actor), Paul Smith(Actor), Alice Backes(Actor)
3:30 PM
The Andy Griffith Show Up in Barney's Room (TV-G) Barney stays at the courthouse when Mrs. Mendlebright kicks him out of his room for cooking.; Barney is suspicious of his landlady fiancé Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Enid Markey(Actor), J. Pat O'Malley(Actor)
4:00 PM
The Andy Griffith Show A Date for Gomer (TV-G) Andy and Barney set Gomer up with Thelma Lou's timid cousin, Mary Grace; Gomer immediately falls for her and runs to the store to get her flowers. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor), Mary Grace Canfield(Actor)
4:30 PM
The Andy Griffith Show Citizen's Arrest (TV-G) Barney resigns when Gomer gives him a citizen's arrest for an illegal U-turn, but he may be needed after all for a robbery at the filling station. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor), Joe Hamilton(Actor)
5:00 PM
The Andy Griffith Show Barney's Sidecar (TV-G) Barney turns Mayberry upside down with his valiant attempt at slowing down the speeders on Highway 6 using his new motorcycle and sidecar. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor), Virginia Sale(Actor)
5:30 PM
The Andy Griffith Show The Song Festers (TV-G) Barney has been looking forward to singing in an upcoming concert, but Gomer's voice is better for the solo; Gomer fakes laryngitis for Barney's sake. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor), Reta Shaw(Actor), Barbara Griffith(Actor)
6:00 PM
The Andy Griffith Show Fun Girls (TV-G) Helen and Thelma Lou get the wrong idea wen hAndy and Barney get saddled with the "fun girls" during a late night at work doing inventory. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor), Jean Carson(Actor)
6:30 PM
The Andy Griffith Show Barney's Uniform (TV-G) Barney catches Fred Plummer sweeping litter into the street and tickets him, so Plummer vows to take revenge on Barney the next time he's not in uniform. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor), Allan Melvin(Actor)
7:00 PM
The Andy Griffith Show The Darling Baby (TV-G) Charlene Darling chooses Opie to be her baby daughter's betrothed and he becomes an unwilling participant in the traditional ceremony. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Frances Bavier(Actor), Denver Pyle(Actor)
7:30 PM
The Andy Griffith Show Three Wishes for Opie (TV-G) Opie gets three wishes that seem to come true almost immediately after Barney uses his new fortune-telling cards to tell the little boy's fortune. Andy Griffith(Actor), Don Knotts(Actor), Ron Howard(Actor), Burt Mustin(Actor), Aneta Corseau(Actor)
8:00 PM
Everybody Loves Raymond Confronting the Attacker (TV-PG) When he tries to return to the force, Robert finds that his attack still bothers him, and will continue to until he confronts his attacker. Ray Romano(Actor), Patricia Heaton(Actor), Brad Garrett(Actor), Doris Roberts(Actor), Peter Boyle(Actor)
8:30 PM
Everybody Loves Raymond Robert's Divorce (TV-PG) Spotting Robert's ex-wife prompts everyone to reflect on his divorce, and when she suggests they get together, Robert is intrigued. Ray Romano(Actor), Patricia Heaton(Actor), Brad Garrett(Actor), Doris Roberts(Actor), Peter Boyle(Actor)
9:00 PM
Everybody Loves Raymond Italy, Part 1 (TV-PG) Marie surprises everyone by taking the family to Italy, but Raymond finds a way to not enjoy himself, while Robert falls for a beautiful Italian woman. Ray Romano(Actor), Patricia Heaton(Actor), Brad Garrett(Actor), Doris Roberts(Actor), Peter Boyle(Actor)
9:30 PM
Everybody Loves Raymond Italy, Part 2 (TV-PG) While the rest of the family has the time of their life, Raymond slowly recovers from his illness and begins to come around in regard to the wonders of Italy. Ray Romano(Actor), Patricia Heaton(Actor), Brad Garrett(Actor), Doris Roberts(Actor), Peter Boyle(Actor)
10:00 PM
The King of Queens Doug Less I (TV-PG) Doug loses weight and plans to take Carrie on vacation to a secret locale, but she's furious when she discovers he took a past girlfriend there also. Kevin James(Actor), Leah Remini(Actor), Jerry Stiller(Actor), Patton Oswalt(Actor), Gary Valentine(Actor)
10:30 PM
The King of Queens Doug Less II (TV-PG) Carrie is jealous over Doug's new weight loss and the attention he garners; Danny and Spence house sit and watch over Arthur while the Heffernan's are gone. Kevin James(Actor), Leah Remini(Actor), Jerry Stiller(Actor), Patton Oswalt(Actor), Gary Valentine(Actor)
11:00 PM
The King of Queens Dreading Vows (TV-PG) When Doug and Carrie decide to renew their vows, they are faced with complications, such as finding a chimpanzee to stand in as Doug's best man. Kevin James(Actor), Leah Remini(Actor), Jerry Stiller(Actor), Patton Oswalt(Actor), Gary Valentine(Actor)
11:30 PM
The King of Queens Nocturnal Omission (TV-14) Carrie finds out that Deacon has weekend plans with another woman and wants Doug to tell him his ex-wife, Kelly, has plans to reunite. Kevin James(Actor), Leah Remini(Actor), Jerry Stiller(Actor), Patton Oswalt(Actor), Gary Valentine(Actor)
Comedy
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